you are acute coffee pie

you are narrow, scalding and irrational

“faster,” i moaned. “why won’t this page load faster?”

My guinea pig is walking the dog


be nice to people because the world is a shitty place and we all need a little help sometimes

French is the language that turns dirt into romance.
—Stephen King (via gpfrenchclub)


if you can’t laugh during sex, you might not be doing it with the right person


Can you imagine Harry trying to parent his children and tell them they need to settle down but then James Sirius just pulls out his edition of Harry James Potter: A History and goes, “When you were my age you followed an alleged mass murderer into a tunnel, faced a werewolf and nearly got killed by dementors. I think I can go to The Bent-Winged Snitches concert.” 



We all know that feeling, vending machine

#i am also full of snacks and darkness